"Dreams are reality waiting to happen." - Nick Jonas

'Wants'

 I want to travel. I want to travel to places I’ve never been to before, and walk into the unfamiliar. I want to meet new people, and learn about new cultures. I want to see things with my eyes, and unravel its beauty. I just want to travel, and see how much bigger the world is out there.

Have you?

Ever heard a song from so long ago that you had so much memories tied to it and it made you cry?

And did you wish that you could turn back time and return to the past when everything was much more simpler and carefree? 

Those are the songs that are the soundtracks of our lives. They are the ones that bring back memories of our childhood, best friends, first love, first broken heart, and the many other memories that you've had, that is with you till now. 

So, have you?

I wish someone told me that it’s okay to feel the way I do and that it’s okay to feel so empty to the core where I feel like I no longer exist.

I’m fine. I’m fine. I’m fine. I’m fine. I’m fine. I’m fine. If I’m not fine, I’ll be fine. I’ll be okay. I’ll be alright. I’m okay and I will be okay. I will be because that’s what I keep telling myself, but the truth is, it’s unbearable—the weight, the pressure, and the burden is just growing and growing. The truth is, I don’t know what to do, but I keep telling myself I’m fine and maybe that’s why I’m so, so tired all the time because I don’t know where to vent my problems. I don’t know where or who to go to for my troubles and it’s just all here. It’s just all inside and I’m just waiting. I’m just waiting until I breakdown or reach my breaking point again and again. The truth is, I’m not fine and I haven’t been fine for a long while now. The truth is, I do want someone there for me, but all at once, I don’t. The truth is, I’m not fine and I’m just exhausted and I can’t stop feeling tired and it’s annoying me because it’s not a great feeling to hold or feel all the time for a long period of time now. I feel my body growing weaker and weaker, and the moment the pressure breaks, I can feel myself shaking and shattering all in that moment. I can feel myself shaking so, so much and I’ll end up crying from all the emotions I held inside. It’ll burst, but I don’t know when and I don’t know how much longer I can hold onto this. The truth is, I’m drowning in despair and I’m trying to swim, but I’m just constantly drowning and as much as I tell myself, I’m going to be alright, I know it won’t happen for a long time until I can feel myself drop and everything unravels into the darkness.

F e e l i n gs xx

Everything feels uneasy
at three o’clock in the morning
because that is when my truest feelings unravel
and there is nobody to listen
to even a speck of it
because everyone is asleep
and I am awake by my thoughts.

The truth is,
I do not know how to express
the feelings left unsaid
because it is always denied
and rejected,
but never accepted
for it is
a burden too heavy
to bear on anyone else.

My heart constantly ache
and that is a feeling
I will always deny
until now.

The oddest things hurt me. They get stuck in my head and replay over and over.

I need to take a deep breath and remember that everything is going to be okay.

The pain is there to remind me that I'm still alive.

I’m tired of fighting myself. I’m overwhelmed with everything. I feel exhausted physically, mentally, and emotionally. So, exactly how many more fights must I put up with before everything just fall apart?

Every day I feel the same, stuck and I can never change.

 Dreamy dreamy dreamy girl......

Growing up is so painful. We go thru things we don’t like... We see things in different ways. Our emotions are so confused. We felt so lost whenever we are alone. I just dislike all these weird feelings inside me. But do I have a choice? We just gotta move on and on and on.. i am so sick and tired inside . The moment when i look back my heartache so much, ....... why am i looking back?... Looking bad is not a bad thing too. Because... looking back make me feel stronger, each time when i looked back the best about everything is that i never gave up once.. people come and go.

Life fucking goes on. Shits happen everyday. Be happy.... h a p p y.

LIVE x FAST x AND x DIE x YOUNG x BITCHES